I was having this conversation with my student when she suddenly opened up about her love-life. She was pretty comfortable in telling me that she has two boyfriends: one is the father of her daughter and the other is a foreigner who plans to meet her in person very soon. I was taken aback because she doesn’t seem a cheater but not necessarily horrendously surprised as her situation is nothing very rare. I have already heard similar stories from women of different social status, religion and culture. Some of them are open and proud about what they did or they are into while others are remorseful and would rather keep things to them. Many are wondering what happened to the submissive women that the society once crowned every woman for and many men abuse. Based on researches and interviews there are handful of reasons why the number of infidelity among the present Eve is skyrocketing today.
Many women are tied in a relationship where they are not emotionally secured. They do not get the appreciation, attention and compliment they believe they deserve. Either men accept it or not, women subsist on what they feel. Often, actions are not enough to convince her that she is loved. Being an auditory creature, she needs to be told about how much she is appreciated, adored, and most importantly, how beautiful she is. These are very easy tasks, but many times male partners fail to do these, so when there is someone who does all the above, after all the cravings of reassurance of love, the woman becomes an easy prey of another man’s arms.
While others say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, unfortunately, some feel that it makes life boring and dull. A testimony of Tamara, 33, from Portland in Confessions: 7 reasons why women cheat, says that after she and her boyfriend decided to have a long-distance relationship after she was accepted in a graduate school, she had not maintain her fidelity after she became extremely attracted with her lab partner few months after. The innocent flirting they both shared later on became physical. She did not tell her boyfriend about it as she soon realized that this other man is really just a fling and that things between them could have only happened due to boredom. There are couples who could stand being apart and still have the relationship go smoothly but there are those who simply can’t. According to Ruth Houston, a New York based infidelity expert, some women cheat on their mate just to alleviate boredom or to add excitement to their life.
Financial dearth is another factor now openly considered as another reason for cheating. Couples used to be very particular on having money issues come between them but nowadays, people are becoming more open about the deal of money. Women are becoming extremely particular about their partner’s financial capacity so when they get less of what they expect, they resort unto dating wealthier men. They easily are seduced by their lavish gifts- designer clothes, jewelries, vacations and others- everything that their partner cannot afford.
“I want him to have a dose of his own medicine.” This is a very common statement and is another reason seen for cheating. Men are very good actors, they always have ways to cover-up their unfaithfulness, what they don’t know is that women can be more clever and with that is their resourcefulness to find out the truth. Men would vehemently deny accusations until their girlfriend or wife says “ok” and seems to believe. At some point, women feel helpless over the argument of cheating so to get even, they would do the same as how they think their husband or boyfriend has committed. In such way they feel victory through pleasure. Although the feeling of triumph doesn’t usually last long, but at least for quite a while, at some point, they feel that they are no longer victims.
Finally, one of the most common accounts of infidelity is the loss of passion. Passion fuels the relationship. The feelings should be there- the excitement, the spark, the titillation. When all the latter are gone it makes every day lifeless. For some, passion is developed; for others it is a gift. Since this is very significant in partnership, once this is gone, a person will try to seek for this on another one. And in every new relationship this sensation is very strong and is often mistaken as a sign of love rather than infatuation.
The above are only few but the most common reasons of cheating. Every affair has its own reason and by that is a strong rationalization. We have to remember though that there are no excuses for cheating, for men or women. Guilty or not, it is always wrong. It is not the best mean to be relieved from the turmoil of a bad relationship no matter what the outcome may be. Temptations can always be avoided if only chosen to. The keys to a healthy and faithful togetherness: honesty of thoughts, open-mindedness and acceptance.